How to Have Richer Relationships

The answer is to CARE.

GROWTH STORY: Picture two young men. We’ll call them Joe & Sam. Joe asked Sam to do a small task for him. Sam forgot. Joe asked again, Sam forgot again. Next thing they’re having an argument. Now they only talk about unimportant stuff. Sound familiar? Why does this happen?

Even though these two ‘blokes’ found it hard to admit, when Sam forgot to do what Joe asked him to do, Joe felt ‘disrespected’, like Sam ‘didn’t care’. And when Joe was really honest, he discovered he actually felt ‘hurt’.

GROWTH INSIGHT: The most common reaction to getting hurt is to hurt back. Rather than admit that, we often accuse the other person of not caring. When in fact, we care a lot, hence our hurt.

And that’s what Sam did. He reacted to Joe’s accusations of him being ‘lazy’ by saying Joe was ‘controlling’. So Sam felt hurt, so he hurt Joe back. You can imagine how the argument deteriorated from there.

The fact is Joe didn’t keep his promise to Sam. Whenever you break a promise to someone else, you run the risk of them thinking you don’t care and having them react by hurting you back.

THE SOLUTION: Care. In other words, put your attention on what the other person wants, and then decide whether you can promise to deliver what they want or not. If you can, then promise to do so, and make sure you deliver on your promise. That way they get what they want and see value in what you’ve done for them. When you ‘care’ like this, your relationships become even more rich and rewarding. And of course, this works with your clients, colleagues, friends and family relationships.

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See you soon.

Warmly, David Williams





Growth Whisperers
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